When You Commit to Knowing Who You Truly Are
10 years ago this month, I did something that changed my life, and forever shifted the way I saw the world around me.
It created what has now become my anchor, my non-negotiable, my heaven amidst the chaos of human life.
In March 2013, I decided to do a month long experiment, and commit to a morning routine that involved waking up before the sunrise, immediately going to the bathroom to wash my face, sit on the toilet, dry skin brush, have a shower, meditate, do light exercise, then breakfast.
I was living in Brooklyn at the time, and what I remember most vividly about my month long journey, was listening to the city wake up. This was what began to change me. As I look back and ask: Why this? - I believe it was reflecting to me the seat of the observer. The unchanging awareness that sees, that is not encumbered by anxiety or fear. I began to touch that place within me. I began to "lose" my mind, and the shackles it had always held me in
I happened to discover a 21-day meditation challenge by Oprah & Deepak Chopra the day after my experiment began (how synchronistic), so that's what I listened to for my morning meditation. This too changed the way I saw reality.
It opened a space in me that had been percolating since 10 years prior, when my OAC English teacher brought in her scientist friend who shared about studies being done to create & then heal cancer in monkeys. For over half my time on earth I've lived with the seed of knowing that I can change my life - and I am not a victim to my circumstances.
It was why I wanted to become an actor. I wanted a platform -to be "famous", gain a following and respect - so that I could empower people and they would listen to me when I shared about how much control we have over our lives. (Yes, I used the word "control". I was young, and that was my perception, based on my own deep seated need to feel in control in order to feel safe. Something I would unpack over the next decade.)
What I recognize now, is that control is a function of the small self. For if we all saw through the eyes of our divine Self, we would see there is no need to control, because all is already perfect, and happening exactly as it's meant to be. We just can't see the whole picture from down here.
What I really meant, was power. Power over our lives, our experience, and how sweet or hellish this journey from birth to death is.
My morning routine has shifted over the years. It's come and gone, and yet always comes back again stronger than ever. It's my anchor.
What I can tell you is this:
When you show up for yourself, your Self will show up for you.
When you pause long enough to listen to the voice within you (no, not the one inside your busy mind that's influenced by outside factors...), you will discover the answers with more ease than you realised was possible.
When you allow yourself to follow your heart, and answer the calls that light you up, you will be supported in ways you've been conditioned to believe you weren't worthy of. (Because you are so very worthy, and being supported on your journey does not equal weakness, it equals strength and intelligence.)
And, when you commit to knowing who you are, exploring the gifts within you, and dissolving the fears that keep you from shining them out into the world - your will find your freedom.
And you will soar.