3 Common Beliefs that Keep You From Experiencing Self-Love
Beautiful sister,
I’ve talked to so many women who think they need to do or change something in order to achieve or reach a state of self-love. This immediately gives their power away!!
I’m going to share 3 common beliefs that keep lasting self-love just out of reach...
Belief # 1 In order to feel more peace, confidence & self-love: You need to “let go" of or “release” a lot of things.
Examples:
“I just need to let go of this anger.”
“I just need to release this energy.”
“I just need to move past this frustration.”
“I just need to let go of this doubt.”
Get the picture?
Ok listen, when you think about pushing something away, in any capacity, it will persist and get stronger. Whatever you push against, pushes back. It’s one of the universal laws. What this creates is a bunch of emotions and thought patterns that cling to your leg and weigh you down. When you focus on the removal of things, those things get bigger and hold on tighter.
Instead, what would it be like to embrace the anger, the frustration, the doubt? Sure, it may feel uncomfortable and counterintuitive, but that’s where you get to ask yourself how badly you want to feel peace. How deeply are you willing to look your old programs and limiting beliefs in their core? Because it’s that level of awareness and courage which will allows them to truly dissolve so you can feel free.
Belief # 2 In order to feel more peace, confidence & self-love: You need to “think positively” about everything.
Whenever I meet someone who is really, really, really bubbly and happy, my first thought is almost always “what’s underneath that?”
Now look, exuberant personalities are beautiful and positivity is an amazing quality. What I’m talking about is a tendency some women have (most often learned from our upbringing), to paint a smile over everything. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “Work isn’t great, my boss frustrates me, I’m not happy with my partner...but it’s ok! I’m fine. It’s just a phase and I’m figuring it out.”
Um, it’s totally ok to just say “I feel like sh*t right now. Things aren’t going well.”
When the truth of how you’re feeling gets buried under “positive thinking” rather than authentically expressed, it festers. And if it doesn’t show up through an emotional outburst one day (or PMS every month), then it will potentially move into an organ or show up as an dis-ease somewhere down the line.
It’s challenging though, because we really have been taught to silence our inner voice, not take up too much space, and go along with the crowd. What I love to do with women is go through exercises to practice listening to that little voice inside the womb, and learning to trust it, (I teach this in 1:1 sessions and most of my online programs. The more you practice this, the more you experience just how good it feels to be honest, the stronger that muscle of authenticity gets, and the safer you feel to express, knowing that you deserve to be met with love.
Belief # 3 In order to feel more peace, confidence & self-love: You need to “not be in your head so much”
Nope! This one isn’t true either. Have you ever said “I just need to get out of my head!”? Well, you can’t get out of your head. So better to just accept it and sit there observing :)
When you are “stuck in your head”, it’s often because a need has not been met. Either you didn’t feel heard, you’re worried about something, you feel like a victim, and so on. Whatever it is - there is a need you have in order to feel safe/loved/enough, and it hasn’t been met. Instead of trying to get away and stop thinking about it, go further in! Ask questions. Get to know and understand what is at the root of your incessant thoughts. What is the fear? What is the desire? What is the need? Listen for the answer to these questions (because if you tune in, you will hear them), and being in your head won’t feel so much like a prison sentence. Instead, you will naturally rest into your breath, feel expansion in your womb, and ground into your body.
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Now that you can see how these common beliefs can get in the way, and even bring you two steps back, I want you to feel empowered in your ability to transmute them!
I invite you to check out Embodied Feminine Freedom, my signature self-love program to receive the tools, guidance, and community support to truly come home to self-acceptance and self-love.
Click HERE for more info