The Power of Committment

A dear friend recently asked me if it felt different now that Chris and I are married.

To be honest, in the months leading up to the wedding you would have heard me say something like: "Marriage isn't really my thing. Nothing's going to change except I'll need to add some information on my taxes..."

Yes, that's how I always felt. I didn't really see a point.

But the truth is, things do feel different. And when my friend asked me about it, I got the chance to put it into words in a way that I hadn't yet until that moment.

What's different is that I feel safer in this connection than I ever have. I trust it, I trust him, I trust this love. When triggers come up, there's no more energy of trying to one-up the other, or to make the other wrong so we can be right. *Because more than ever before - we're REALLY on the same team. And you just don't try to throw off your own teammate.

Sure, we had been moving in that direction for a while, and life with each other was consistently getting more and more "easeful" as we healed our own triggers and inner child wounding. But something really did switch after that day when we spoke our vows in front of family and friends. There is something about making that "commitment" that truly has magic to it.

Commitment turns on a switch. It brings us closer to the things we want, but had a hard time drawing toward ourselves just on our own. Accountability is powerful.

Do you know why so many people are afraid of commitment?

Because then they'll be accountable for the thing they want most, but are actually terrified to let in. Further, if we are accountable to someone other than ourselves, and we "fail" then it gets wrapped up in our fear of losing love if we don't get it right.

And so why try in the first place?

I tell you - you will be loved no matter what. And they who withhold love does so out of their own wounding. If they are willing to acknowledge this, and you can walk through it together, good. If they can't, you must move on and surround yourself with those who are willing to do the work.

This was how I began my vows:

"Chris, your love means more to me than has been comfortable to admit. You've taken me far out of my comfort zone, and into the most expansive realms of growth. You've helped me become a truer version of myself.

I hope that our union is an inspiration, and an example, of two people who are willing to put in the work needed to let love guide rather than fear."

This journey is not supposed to be walked alone. It doesn't mean you have to be in a romantic partnership. Not by any means. But open yourself to connection. To sisterhood. To those you resonate with and relate to.

Commit to yourself. Commit to being your fullest expression. Commit to opening your heart to the love you so incredibly deeply desire, but have been afraid to let in.

For a sweet, soft, safe space to land, check out The Soul Sisterhood Collective. We only open our doors a few times each year. Hop on the wait list so you’re first to know when that is xox