The Year I Gave My Heart Away
It's been a while since I wrote about the declaration I made on my birthday last year. It was to dedicate this year, my 34th cycle around the sun, to giving my heart away. It's been a trip (to say the least) to understand what that actually means. I seem to have a pattern of diving into things before I feel "ready" and pursuing ideas even though I'm not sure what they even look like, simply because my heart told me to. It didn't always used to be that way.
For so long I shied away from doing what was scary, I made excuses not to go, reasons not to write. From the outside I may have looked fearless. Pursued an acting career, moved to LA, then New York on a whim. To me that was all easy. It made sense. It was a good adventure. The hard parts have been taking a good long look at myself, claiming that I have brilliant gifts to offer the world and opening up my heart to give them out.
So this time last year the idea came to my mind to dedicate 33 to giving my heart away - even though I had no idea what that looked like. Here are just a few things I've learned:
Leading through inspiration is vastly different than leading through manipulation, and I way prefer the former. In fact, I have zero interest at all in manipulation.
Humility is a 2-way street, and slices of humble pie are generally big enough for 2. However, I get to take full responsibility for my piece, and whether or not the other person wants to eats theirs - doesn't need to inform how much I eat of mine. Yum.
Giving my heart away should never make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and just because someone reaches out to me to connect - does NOT mean I have to engage if my instinct is to say no.
I never have to explain myself. And, it's a really kind thing to do to be honest with people, even if (and especially when) being honest feels uncomfortable. People like honesty, and it means no one is left wondering. Do unto others...
And the big one: giving my heart away has meant that I see everyone through the eyes of compassion. It has helped me release judgment, and to notice it when it does creep in - recognizing that it is a reflection of something unhealed within me.
As expected, I have a new declaration for this next cycle around the sun. It's to open my heart, to be love. No idea what that looks like :) but I'm ready to find out.